69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
