No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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