did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
