In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
