people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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