to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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