youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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