Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
