You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
