david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
