at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
