I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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