Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
