bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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