Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
