I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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