so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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