I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
