Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is Oprah even human
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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