she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
pray to the hookup gods
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
