It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
