Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
