Well douche your snatch and let's go!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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