i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
