I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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