yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
