shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
