Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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