There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
