I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
