I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
