thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
