you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
