I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
