if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
