I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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