if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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