loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
When are your genitals available?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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