I just pynch a tree in the face
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
