you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
