I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
