is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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