Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
