Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Randomize
