Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
