My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
