Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
