the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
