69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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