Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
