He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
