one might say we're banned from that church
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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