just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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